3 Tips for Preventing a Contentious Divorce in Illinois

 Posted on August 17, 2026 in Divorce

According to a survey by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, about 95 percent of divorce cases settle out of court and avoid trial. While reaching a settlement does not mean a divorce will be completely free of conflict, many couples are able to resolve their disagreements without a lengthy court battle. Taking steps to keep tensions under control can make that process easier for everyone involved.

At A. Traub & Associates, our Wheaton, IL family law attorneys have over a century of experience, and we have handled many contentious divorces. We can work closely with you to solve problems between you and your soon-to-be ex, avoiding needless arguments whenever possible.

What Behaviors Can Help Reduce Conflict in a 2026 Divorce?

Not every divorce is messy, but a high-conflict divorce can take a huge toll on your emotional and sometimes physical well-being, especially if you do not know how to handle the conflict.

You cannot control your partner’s choices and behavior during the divorce. What you can control is your own actions and how you choose to respond to conflict. Whether you are currently experiencing a hostile split or sense that you are heading in that direction, consider the following tips to avoid a contentious divorce or at the very least, to discourage it from becoming more turbulent than it already is:

Avoid Escalating a Fight

Recognize when the other party is trying to instigate something, and make a conscious decision to avoid argumentative situations. As the old adage goes, "Do not add fuel to the fire." This could not be more appropriate when it comes to high-conflict divorce. All divorces are emotionally charged, so it can be difficult to hold back. However, knowing when to end a phone call, walk away, or simply remain silent can prevent more trouble from brewing later on.

Try Alternative Methods of Dispute Resolution

One of the most effective methods for preventing high conflict in the midst of a divorce or for addressing conflict once it rears its ugly head is to bring in a third party to help mediate. A seasoned mediator is trained to help spouses communicate and work toward agreements on the terms of their divorce. Mediation is a helpful tool for minimizing toxic contact and reducing the overall stress of the divorce process.

Learn Your Rights 

One of the best ways to take a proactive approach to a potentially contentious divorce is to advocate for your rights. The first step is arming yourself with knowledge. Know what marital property and assets you are entitled to and what you can do to protect yourself as you move forward with court proceedings. Working alongside a knowledgeable divorce attorney can help you control what you can and minimize argumentative contact with your spouse. Your attorney can also provide insight into your concerns along the way.

What Issues Can Stand in the Way of an Amicable Divorce Settlement?

Though every divorce is different, some common points of tension tend to arise. Some of the most commonly contested issues include:

• Disagreements over property division and marital assets
• Disputes about parental responsibilities 
• Conflicts over child support or spousal maintenance
• Differences in valuing a business or a retirement account
• Accusations of hidden assets or dishonesty during the process 

Just because a divorcing couple disagrees on some things doesn’t mean an amicable resolution is impossible. Our firm can go over each issue and help work toward a resolution that protects your interests, even as emotions run high.

How Should You Approach Negotiations in a Contested Divorce?

Attorney-led negotiations allow each side to present its position without direct conflict between spouses. This can lower tension and keep the process moving forward.

Compromise plays a large role in contested divorce cases. Illinois law encourages spouses to resolve disputes without going to trial when possible (750 ILCS 5/502). A willingness to compromise on some issues can help you avoid a lengthy court battle over others. For example, one spouse might agree to keep the family home while the other receives a larger share of another marital asset, such as a retirement account.

Your attorney can help you decide which issues are worth fighting for and which ones might be better resolved through negotiation. Negotiations can take time, especially in cases involving significant assets. Staying patient and working closely with your attorney can improve your chances of reaching a settlement that meets your needs and your family's future.

Can a Collaborative Divorce Help Resolve Contested Issues?

Collaborative divorce is one option for couples who want to avoid litigation. In this process, each spouse works with an attorney to resolve issues outside of court. Both sides agree to share information openly and negotiate in good faith, rather than treating the divorce as a fight to be won.

This approach can reduce conflict and give both spouses more control over the outcome. It may also lower legal costs and shorten the time needed to finalize the divorce, compared to a trial. Couples who choose collaborative divorce often meet with financial or parenting professionals as part of the process, which can lead to more thoughtful and lasting agreements. Collaborative divorce is not right for every case, but it can be a helpful option for couples who are willing to work together despite their disagreements.

Contact a Wheaton, IL Family Law Attorney

A divorce does not have to be hostile, but if yours takes a turn for the worse, you may need professional legal counsel. It is important to understand your rights so you are not taken advantage of during the proceedings. A Lombard, IL high-conflict divorce lawyer can help you sort out the legal details, allowing you to focus on taking care of yourself and moving on to the next chapter in your life. Call A. Traub & Associates at 630-426-0196 to schedule a consultation today.